I am sitting here in my fluffy, pink robe, and warm, fuzzy
socks, while listening to the cold, blustery wind that has ushered in November.
The winter and cold weather causes me to go even more inward in my thoughts
than usual. November also means the holidays are coming; the end of another
year approaching.
In September, I challenged myself to blog every day. Most
days it came quite easily. For October, I copied a silly monster joke every day
to my FaceBook status. November, I will post a quote about being thankful. I
have much to be thankful for.
Sometimes, because I do have so very, very much to be
thankful for yet I feel empty and drained most of the time, I feel guilty. I
battle depression and it becomes worse in the cold months. I actually
understand why some people drink or do drugs to alleviate this sense of
lifelessness; to fill the void.
I’ve had people tell me I should get right with God and I
would feel better. Don’t claim it; give it back. You shouldn’t feel that way
because you have so many blessings. Focus on the good.
I know this. That is what makes it awful. I could fill pages
and pages with all that I have in my life to be thankful for. I am thankful. I
am grateful. I am humbled by how blessed I truly am.
It’s not every day that I feel down. Some days the battle
isn’t so bad. Some days, the feelings of inadequacy, being trapped, the sense
of drowning, is negligible. Some days, it is overwhelming.
So, for November, I will post daily a quote about being
thankful. Because, even though the battle rages inside, the thankfulness is
always there and I will remind myself daily to focus on that.
